Growing Slowly Nowhere
About
★★★★★ "A riveting and unforgettable true story, told with urgency, honesty, and quiet determination." — Mary-Lisa Russo
★★★★★ "A vivid, hopeful memoir that reveals painful truths with charm, insight, and remarkable restraint." — Duane Simolke
★★★★★ "Brutally honest, deeply moving, and impossible to put down — a memoir that demands to be read more than once." — Olivia Wright
GROWING SLOWLY NOWHERE
When nowhere was home, survival became a way of life.
My father died three times before I turned twelve.
At least, that is what my mother told me — three different deaths, three different lies, each one chosen to keep me from ever looking for him. He had vanished when I was four. What he left behind was a house with no safety in it: a narcissistic, manipulative mother who measured love by what it could buy her, an older brother whose cruelty went unpunished, and a small boy who learned that the only way to survive was to disappear.
This is the true story of that boy, and of the man he spent forty years slowly, painfully becoming.
Set against the brutal backdrop of apartheid-era South Africa — its townships, its conscription, its everyday violence — Growing Slowly Nowhere follows a life shaped by emotional abuse, abandonment, and a country at war with itself. From a childhood of beatings and locked doors, through a young man's years in the South African Air Force and the minefields of the Mozambican border war, to a series of devastating relationships engineered by the one person who should have protected him, this is a memoir of resilience forged in the most unlikely places.
It is a story of fire — quite literally; of a coma that nearly ended everything; of psychiatric clinics, hard-won recovery, and the slow work of learning to look forward instead of back. And it is, in the end, a story of being found: by the one woman who saw him clearly, and by a search for a lost father that uncovered something he never expected.
Growing Slowly Nowhere is not a tale of sudden triumph or easy redemption. It is an honest, unflinching, often darkly funny account of surviving a home that was never built to nurture — and of carrying those lessons, both the harmful and the necessary, into a life finally worth living.
A profoundly moving memoir for readers who are drawn to:
• True stories of childhood trauma, narcissistic parents, and dysfunctional families
• Powerful memoirs of survival, resilience, and recovery in the tradition of Educated, The Glass Castle, and A Boy Called It
• Coming-of-age and coming-to-terms stories set in South Africa and the apartheid era
• Honest accounts of PTSD, mental health, and healing after a lifetime of adversity
• Inspirational true-life journeys of hope, forgiveness, and finding home
From the author of The McTavish Chronicles, the true story behind the haunted houses.
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Praise for this book
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Guilty pleasure revealed! I enjoy reading true stories immensely. So, when GROWING SLOWLY NOWHERE by Iwan Ross found its way under my watchful eyes, I jumped at the chance to read this riveting book. The description immediately hooked me... and so along I went and lost myself within the pages.
Lost is an apt word to describe my reading journey. The author's life unravelled like a train moving cross country and I was vested in his true story. So many ups and downs. The author's earnest tone was the icing on the cake. His urgency was felt in the way he strung his words together and depicted his life in great detail.
The author's relationship with his mother broke my heart. I could tell he was always trying to make his life better, trying valiantly to rise about whatever cards life dealt him. Thus far, he lived life with determination and gusto, inspiring the reader to keep moving forward when difficult waves threaten to disrupt their world.
Verdict: 5/5 Nothing dull here... a truly entertaining read. I can tell I won't soon forget this true story.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
In his memoir Growing Slowly Nowhere, Iwan Ross writes about growing up in apartheid-era South Africa. His life throws readers not only into a world of injustice but also into one with a manipulative mother and brother.
Despite the troubling contents, which also include abuse and a local criminal hierarchy, the narrator manages a friendly, inviting tone. In fact, the narrative feels much like a weekly blog or newspaper column, with the end of each chapter teasing what lies ahead. It even manages a good deal of optimism.
Initially, that first-person style seems playful to the extent that the narrator sounds somewhat unreliable, even implying with a Mark Twain flair that what he says might not stick with the truth. As the story unfolds, Iwan Ross reveals a unique style that captures the human tendency of not wanting to grapple with too much pain and loss at the same time. His glimpses forward keep hinting at just why he keeps giving more chances to loved ones who only seem determined to hurt him. Somehow, the narrator’s life remains vibrant amidst an atmosphere of injustice. Rather than avoiding reality, he reveals it in gradual steps as his painful life experiences make him more insightful and resourceful.
With Growing Slowly Nowhere, Iwan Ross delivers a creative work that provides both entertainment and hope to the reader. The charming style and vivid descriptions will make readers glad they joined him on a sometimes painful but never boring journey.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This book is hands down the best memoir/autobiography I’ve ever read. From the moment I started, I was captivated and shocked. I’ve never encountered anyone so brave and brutally honest. I sincerely hope the author writes a follow-up, focusing solely on his relationship with his narcissistic mother. She’s depicted so well, realistically evil, that I wanted to reach through the pages and… well, throttle her! This memoir deserves an award and wider recognition. Read it; read it again and again. I’ve never made so many notes and annotations in any other book. Tonight, I’m going to reread it, probably while finishing a bottle of wine (or two). Tears of deep sadness well up, mixed with immense pride for the author. Cheers!